...it lives on ...

what makes some people stay even though they are being hurt?
and
what makes some people leave despite their being love / loved?

some seek the l.o.n.e.l.y path and forever remain searching for
they are never at p.e.a.c.e within themselves.

laying awake.
staring.
knowing this place in your mind, you've been here before,
seeking.
searching.
trying to leave this place, but,
some how
some way
you find yourself back again,
Always.

you could never give your all, or stay .t.r.u.e. and .com.mit.ted.
so long as you are not set free from that which cages your mind.

Never forgetting,
that which .tortues. your mind now
was
Once before your joy.
you live in constant .con.tra.dic.tio.n. of your own
_Memorys_

your .tears. (.fears.) hold you _Back_

your ._Soul_. will
forever remain
faithful to its lonely path, for,
despite
you calling out to the _.Heavens._ for
__FORGIVNESS__
you are not ._Brave_. enough to
__FORGIVE YOURSELF__

out of crime comes.

sometimes I have these weird annoying feelings
and when they happen I just can't think straight

truth is I crumble under pressure, and way too
much has been happening lately.
we became a south african statistic last thursday
thieves walked into our home with knives and guns,
its not that I haven't been a victim of crime.

since I have the store I have suffered many losses .

trust me walking into your business in the morning and finding
your stock gone is not a good feeling.
the last time it happened I felt defeated inside thought to myself just
quit the whole damned effort and sell the
thing,
but a year later, thank Allah, the shop recovered and we trudge on.

but when you see this crime, this invasion of your private space happening
in the flash that is fear that goes straight to your heart.
seeing the back of a stranger with a knife in hand walking towards your mother
is thee most terrifying thing on the planet.
i am a cellphone addict, but at that moment i could not dial a single digit.
i was trembling... it was scary... the mind is your enemy. the images that it creates
and plays over and over again ....
.
.
i now live in fear.